You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
