that's an acceptable place to lick
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
