come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
