Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
