you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
