I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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