Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
