We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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