I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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