So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag