I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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