there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
