All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
