look no pants
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
