He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
