my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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