Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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