I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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