I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.