ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.