I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character