either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
