That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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