white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Damn victory sex feels great
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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