He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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