how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
