I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
