Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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