with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
