He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
