It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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