did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
