I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
