Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
