your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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