fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
