do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
