im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
