6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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