Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
