ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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