So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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