dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
