Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
