In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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