He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
