i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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