I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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