508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
