Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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