anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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