You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
