You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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