Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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