We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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