So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
