I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize