Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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