but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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