My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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